Half the World Away - страница 23

‘OK, but for now we use this. Have you chosen your others?’

‘No,’ Finn says.

‘Two minutes,’ I say, ‘then if you still haven’t I’ll pick for you.’

‘You tell Isaac off.’

I cannot face this. ‘It’s a shame the poster got ripped but we will get you a new one.’

‘You tell Isaac off.’

I’m saved from having to launch into a reprimand by Nick calling, ‘Jo, can you bring up the extension lead from the shed?’

‘OK,’ I shout, then remind the boys, ‘Two minutes.’

Nick shows me the little room. He’s not bothered repainting so the wall is scuffed where the bunks used to be and there are stickers here and there, little dinosaurs, dogs, and large round ones from the dentist that say ‘Hero!’ or ‘Champion!’ The curtains show cartoon kid astronauts floating among rockets and planets. The computer desk is L-shaped and fits into the corner, giving work space each side. On the shelves where the boys had their toys, Nick’s put books and folders from his work.

‘You could take those down.’ I signal to the curtains. ‘Have a blind – or nothing at all. No one can see in.’

‘I might,’ he says.

‘It’s fine, though,’ I add, wondering if I’ve struck the wrong tone in implying he could do more.

My phone goes. DI Dooley. My stomach drops.

‘I’ve no news,’ she says first of all, which helps me stay upright, ‘but I’ve verified there has been no recent activity on Lori’s phone or her bank accounts so you should go back to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, tell them that, and ask them to request the assistance of the Chinese police.’ My face freezes as I take this in. Nick stares at me intently. I grimace at him. He moves closer so he can hear.

‘Will you let Mr Maddox know or shall I?’ DI Dooley says.

‘I’ll do that. So, erm, what happens now?’

‘The Chinese police will do a welfare check on the ground there, then instigate a missing-person investigation. It’s not something I’d have any involvement in, other than assisting with forwarding any information we already have. And if Jeremy Chadwick needs anything from me, please tell him to call.’

‘Yes. We’ve been looking at the Missing Overseas site,’ I say. ‘We could ask them to put Lori’s details up there.’

‘I think that would be a good idea,’ she says. ‘If you prepare what you need for that, then liaise with the FCO as to the timing – they may want to make some initial checks over there before going public.’

‘Yes.’ I look at the helmets and inflatable suits on the astronauts, the perky grins on their faces, the red stain on the flying saucer where Isaac had written Finn pig and I’d tried to scrub it off.

‘Yes,’ I say again.

‘I’ll be in touch,’ she says. ‘Get back to me if there’s anything you need, anything you want to ask.’

‘Thank you.’

Stupefied, I close the cover on my phone.

‘Shit,’ Nick says.

I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. ‘We’ve got to find her,’ I say.

‘We will,’ he says, but I read the flicker of doubt in his eyes.

‘Can you ring Tom?’ I say.

There’s a moment’s pause. How can he hesitate? He gets out his own phone. I’m wiping my nose and trying not to beat myself up for crying. What’s the point of bottling it all up? Of course I should fucking cry. What sort of mother am I? What mother wouldn’t?

I sit on the floor while Nick talks to Tom. From his side of the conversation I can tell Tom’s asking a whole lot of questions, none of which Nick can answer. Then Nick covers the phone and says to me, ‘He wants to come round.’

The thought exhausts me but who am I to shut him out? We have things to do, things to prepare, like the detective said.

I nod to Nick, blow my nose and wipe my face.

‘These ones.’ Finn comes up the stairs holding posters. ‘And Isaac has four, not three. But I don’t mind.’

I can’t speak for a moment, still full of tears. Finn watches me. Can he tell I’ve been crying?

‘Get the Blu Tack,’ I say, as brightly as I can, ‘and we’ll put them up now.’

Once he is out of earshot I ask Nick to do it with them. I don’t want to. I don’t want to cover up her lovely riot of pictures.

The GP is new to me. We never seem to see the same one twice. It’s a group practice, and although we have a named individual as our primary carer, she only works two days a week and her appointments are like gold dust. So Dr Munir has never met Isaac. He listens while I go over our worries, the run of fevers, the vomiting. Choosing my words carefully, I also talk about his outbursts, the anger and biting.